Hospital Antics

Through out the day I get updates from my mother about my father's health.   On Friday I learned he was back in the ER with pneumonia and low blood pressure.  This morning he told my mother and their dear friend J he wanted to get out of there and go home, he didn't like his new surly roommate.  Although my father has been having bouts of delusion, he accurately detected this guy's erratic energy.   My mother was unnerved by the roommate who dragged his IV as he paced, eying my father's half eaten tray of institutionalized food. "I think he's a druggie.  He sweats."  A disagreeable nurse admonished my mother for asking for a room change.  Rattled, she decided to take a coffee break and come up with a new plan.  At the cashier, she discovered all of her money and a Visa card were missing.  Shaken, she alerted J that the other bed was indeed occupied by a criminal.  A call to security lead to a visit from the police who happened to have a warrant for the patient's arrest.  A thorough search found the credit card hidden behind the dry erase board, and $154 lodged up the invalid's ass.  The money was returned in a plastic bag with a recommendation from the officer, "Wear rubber gloves.  Launder each bill".  As they were finally leaving, my father, who was getting comfortable in a new room, said, "The shit really fell on this house today."