Friday, April 29, 2016


In the eternal “already, but not yet”
my soul struggles to find its footing.
I can feel suspended in ice,
immobile and numb.
I wait impatiently
for the thaw,
caught between freezing and melting,
my soul’s sap smells the spring.
It isn’t summer yet, but I quiver,
anticipating a bloom that does not fade.
It may not be for a long time,
but I know it is coming.
TS Eliot


Tuesday, April 26, 2016


I miss your presence every day.
You are irreplaceable. 
Two years.

Monday, April 25, 2016


Sunday, April 24, 2016

A Month of Sundays


 New York
 Palm Springs

Go West Project - Adrian


A college friend of my brother's, I've known Adrian for decades,
but it's only more recently that we've become friends in our own right.
Reviewing portfolios at the local photo festival
was the impetus for Adrian's desert holiday.
The urge to look at real estate was another.
I dragged him on a few hikes, 
and introduced him to some local watering holes.
The recently opened, beautifully decorated, Mr. Lyons was a favorite.

Friday, April 22, 2016


The dream of the state is to be one,
while the dream of the individual is to be two.
 Jean-Luc Goddard

Desert Unwind

Sunday, April 17, 2016


In places where the seasons are pronounced,
there is one day a year when the advent of summer is promised in the breeze of a spring day.
The anticipation of languid afternoons at the beach or rooftop BBQs brings everyone outdoors.
Like a ritual, winter is washed away with the abandoned coats left on hooks in entryways.
 Skin is exposed to the sun.
In Los Angeles, this day is unrecognizable, lost in subtlety,
 but in New York
it is an unofficial celebration.
Luckily, I happened to be in town for this day,
and experienced the joy of spring without enduring the cruelty of winter.

Go West Project - Lauren


Cousin, travel partner, friend
Lauren, like her Manhattan neighborhood, is in transition.
After a tumultuous year, she is settling into living on her own for the first time. 
She is soaking up all that the city, and this time in her life, has to offer.
Not surprisingly, she is flourishing.

Saturday, April 16, 2016


If I was approached by a genie on the street tomorrow,
and granted one wish I would ask to age like my mother.
Rapidly approaching 85, she looks forward to our long walks in unexplored parks in her county.
On Saturday, she remained undaunted as our trail markers disappeared in Holmdel State Park.
We wandered aimlessly lost in the woods.
We responded similarly, calmly, and forged into the unknown.
Just like life.
 Three miles later we found our way back to the car.
May my mother continue to age with vigor and grace, and I may I do the same.

Friday, April 15, 2016

Lambertville and New Hope Revisited

Growing up, my obsession with early American history was stoked
in towns like Lambertville and New Hope.
I don't know where my patriotism came from, but it had a firm grip on me. 
I'd get a charge from being in places where GW and his scrappy army fought The British.
As I came to understand the ramifications of Watergate and Vietnam it tarnished.
But on those warm summer afternoons when we would go for for a Sunday drive after church
my patriotism was still intact.
Windows down, our bodies jostled in the back seat as the car traversed over bumpy back roads.
In the general store I was allowed to purchase candy sticks, cylindrical coils of root beer, butterscotch or peppermint.
I'd slide them into the back pocket of my jeans
 waiting until after dinner for the sugary sweetness to fill my mouth.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Go West Project - Providence


For me, Providence will always be synonymous with mother,
but the dictionary defines it as:
the protective care of God, or of nature as a spiritual power.
I'm struck by how these two definitions accurately describe me and my mother.
I too am Providence, although it's my middle name.
My mother has always received comfort from living under God's watchful eye, his protective care.
Her strong religious beliefs were one of the greatest influences during my upbringing. 
Parochial school, grace before meals, lighting the advent wreath during lent, Sunday mass; 
Catholicism was a governing force in my childhood and took root in my developing morality.
During tumultuous times, it was also my mother's salvation.
I loved the rituals associated with religion,
but as I got older I questioned the tenets of the church.
Nature became the place where I found spiritual comfort and guidance.
For me, nature is the primary spiritual power.
It's what lures me onto the hiking trail as often as possible.
It's the morning light that catches my breath in my throat, marveling at its beauty. 
My mother and I are both profoundly connected to providence, 
yet the way it exists in our lives is as different as the lives we live.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Go West Project - Lucy


Farm stand girl with
an Irish Spring-soap-girl quality.
Well-scrubbed, and unpretentious.
The attention made her a bit uncomfortable in front of the camera.
I appreciated her instincts to go with it, and remain calm.
Hanging above her head, tied to a rope, was a bundle of blue plastic bags.
This difficult backdrop made me crop close, in camera.
Don't love the composition,
but I like the life in her eyes.
This project remains challenging.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Go West Project - Deb


Friend, sister, colleague, partner
We are comrades in arms in pursuit of our dream.
Many days it feels like we're engaged in trench warfare.
The pitted road has at times gotten the best of our spirits,
but we persevere.
Our passion knows no limit as we amble down the unknown path.
London has been a salve for the wounds.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Tower of London

Sunny, but brisk Sunday.
In retrospect gloves would have served me better in my luggage than short sleeved shirts.
After exploring hipster Shoreditch and eating lunch at trendy Dishoom
we opted for some traditional tourist fare; 
The Tower of London.
Crown jewels, knights' armor, Beefeaters, and chambers of torture.
British history, one of my great passions.
We walked home along the Thames
past The Tate, The National, street artists, and other strollers.
Feet throbbing, hearts full.


Twenty years ago, Shoreditch was just a working class neighborhood in East London
memorialized by Jack the Ripper.
Gentrification began when artists like Damien Hirst took up residence.
It's current visual style can be traced to one of the trendiest modern movements.
Shoreditch, like Williamsburg, Portland, Silver Lake, and the 11th is extremely hip.
Artisanal coffee shops, local fare bistros, weekend markets; ubiquitous, yet still unique, infused with London flavor.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Go West Project - Buckingham Palace Guard


I caught a rare sighing of a palace guard walking through St. James Park en route to work.
His presence caused a stir.
"Look Sally there's a guard," I overheard an excited mother say to her young daughter.
"Where's he going?"
"To work."
"That's not what Daddy looks like when he goes to work."

Earl's Court

Between seasonal London showers, I walked familiar roads.
Sloane Square, down Kings Road, through Chelsea to where I lived for a semester in college.
In the '80s, Earl's Court was a hub for Australian ex-pats and students.
In recent years, gentrification has spruced up the neighborhood, 
the response to skyrocketing real estate prices.
As I wandered, the streets are only vaguely familiar, but it has, after all, been thirty one years.
A lot of life has been lived since that winter in London,
those months are just a blip on the radar screen of my years on this earth.
The city as a whole left an indelible mark
 even if I can longer recognize the flat where I lived.