Swimming Upstream

Caught myself swimming upstream this week.  Conscious, yet still with every stroke I resisted the current.  I know better, and didn't let it persist for too long, but long enough to let familiar feelings of frustration and powerlessness take root and undermine my ability to move forward.  Interestingly, there were highs during the week too.  The, at times, steep learning curve is deeply satisfying.  The work is always anchored in passion, and an intense conviction that these projects are worth every bump in the road.  But, the unknown . . . is so damn unknown, and unnerving.  I remember in college, sitting on the white marble steps of a columned building, contemplating life as only a senior on the brink of graduation can.  I wanted reassurance it was all going to turn out okay, for then I'd be able to chill and enjoy the moment.  In lieu of having a crystal ball, I decided to just believe the future wouldn't disappoint, victories would out weigh disappointments.  So I applied this insight gleaned so long ago, and within moments the tightness in my jaw lessened, the heaviness in my chest dissipated, and tomorrow already looked brighter.