Spring

I felt spring in the air today.  The light looked like spring.  The barren tree branches had green buds.  The winter chill was replaced by a hot afternoon sun.  After spending the last 8 days at home in bed nursing bronchitis, I felt the hopefulness of spring.  I don't know where this path leads.  It's an uncertain one at best, but I'm going to proceed in a steadfast manner.

Pema

It’s not impermanence per se, or even knowing we’re going to die, that is the cause of our suffering, the Buddha taught. Rather, it’s our resistance to the fundamental uncertainty of our situation. Our discomfort arises from all of our efforts to put ground under our feet, to realize our dream of constant okayness. 
When we resist change, it’s called suffering. But when we can completely let go and not struggle against it, when we can embrace the groundlessness of our situation and relax into its dynamic quality, that’s called enlightenment, or awakening to our true nature, to our fundamental goodness. Another word for that is freedom—freedom from struggling against the fundamental ambiguity of being human.
~ Pema Chodron

Healing

Sweating out the germs

Monkey keeping me company

Fever

Cabin fever, that's what I'm suffering from now.  I'm desperate to be among the living, outside breathing the cool winter air.  My back aches from sitting or reclining.  I long for yoga, hiking trails, conversation, clean hair.  Being sick always gives me perspective.  Makes me take notice of what is truly important.  Gives me compassion for those who suffer from serious illnesses.  Although I'm trapped indoors, my view is spectacular.  I awoke to puffy winter white clouds, and watched the afternoon sky turn various shades of blue, before a gorgeous sunset took hold of my backdrop.

Purple Drank

My temperature spiked again last night to 100, better than the 101.5 I registered on Thursday, but still an indication that I wasn't getting better.  Within a few hours of getting under the covers,  I awoke, drenched as if surprised by a sudden downpour on an afternoon hike. My temperature was immediately back to normal, but I was weakened by the ordeal.   Just thinking about food made the bile in the base of my stomach churn. Constant nausea and a burning sensation in my sinuses, throat and chest made it a long night.  I needed a plan for when the sun came up.   A google search led me to a clinic at the base of my hill.  Reviews on Yelp were overwhelming positive.  I was the first one at the door when they opened, and within 45 minutes I had been diagnosed with bronchitis and sinusitis, and given prescriptions for two medications.  All for a co payment of $30.  Finding an open pharmacy on Sunday proved to be the biggest challenge.  Thankfully, a friend at home with a computer and clear head directed me to the nearest one.  I'm not big on medications, but I'm desperate and sicker than I've been in quite some time.  Still, I wanted more information about what I was putting into my body.   That's when I learned my cough syrup, promethezine and codeine, is a popular recreational drug in the Hip Hop community.  Mixed with sprite, jolly ranchers (jolly ranchers!) and ice, it has several terms of endearment: purple drank, sizzurp, purple jelly, Texas tea and Tsikuni.  Houston, Texas producer DJ Screw popularized the concoction, which is widely attributed as a source of inspiration for the "chopped and screwed" style of hip hop music.  Were the liquor stores closed one night, and he was out of vodka or tequila?  This wasn't a one time experiment, his love of the cocktail lead to an overdose and death in 2000.  The potion is referenced in lyrics by Three 6 Mafia, Eminem, Slim Thug, Kayne West, Lil' Wayne, Ludacris, and Drake, to name a few.  Oh the things you learn on the internet.  Cheers!

Bed

Nursing a cold

working from bed

waiting

drinking juices loaded with garlic, ginger and cayenne

reading

napping next to Monkey

Woo Hoo

Winter Light

Days are getting slightly longer.

Clear canyon views lead to a strip of ocean blue.

Spectacular afternoon light floods my bedroom, before the sun dips into the hillside.

Swamplandia!

Karen Russell is a poetic writer with a bright future. 

Delightful, charming, and heartbreaking.

Jemima Kirke

Not just another pretty face on GIRLS.

In fact, Jemima Kirke considers herself an accidental actress.

Her first love and art form is painting.  Hopefully, she will find time to pick up her paint brushes between scenes. 

wisdom

Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.

 ~Dalai Lama

Hooping

Loving my hooping lessons, in spite of my many bruises.

Joy

Spent an EXCELLENT chilly desert weekend with JOB and the dogs.  We passed the time effortlessly chatting,  hiking,  practicing yoga, juicing, consuming art, sharing, supporting, drinking tea, surfing, listening, reading, dinning, LAUGHING and just being.  Big smile.

PS

Reason number 314 to love PS: the art museum.

Fantastic permanent collection and exhibits.  

Easy to tackle in an hour.

Art inspires.  It. Just. Does.

GIRLS and . . . boys

I LOVE the girls in GIRLS, but it's the boys, particularly Adam, who surprised me in season one.  Admittedly, I initially put him in a box, labeled him as a certain type of guy, a boyfriend Hannah could learn from, but should ultimately move on from.  His profundity in The Bushwick Warehouse Party changed my opinion.  "You never ask me anything, besides ‘does this feel okay?’ or ‘do you like my skirt?’ or ‘how much is your rent?’ I’m not gonna fuckin’ talk your ear off about shit you don't ask about. You don’t wanna know me."  He called Hannah on her narcissism, and my attention immediately shifted to his point of view in the relationship, how he'd been responding to her behavior.  Hearing his side of the story was a brilliant shift in story telling.  It underscored the importance of communication and gave the relationship validity to grow.  In anticipation of tonight's season two premiere, The New York Times writes about the boys.

Tinto

I certainly don't need another reason to love Palm Springs, but if I did it would be Tinto.   Iron Chef and James Beard award winner Jose Garces has a new sophisticated restaurant in the Saguaro Hotel.   The experience was delightful and DELICIOUS.

Forward Bend

This is one of my favorite postures.  I love the release in my shoulders, and lower back, and setting free the tension in my head and neck.  Naturally, I responded to this poem by Claudia Cummins.

Counting to 10, biting the tongue, walking away, closing the door.
Falling forward. (Uttanasana, although any forward bend will do).

Strong legs, softening heart.
Waiting, settling, breathing.
Feeling the stretch, sensing the resistance.
Noting the invitation to let go of it all.
Settling the mind, the breath, the body.

Heavy, light. Dense, open. Draining, filling.
Restoring, regaining balance.
Relinquishing the melodrama, the storyline, the angst.
Just breathing, just being. Recovering faith.
Finding space again to breathe and move.

Standing back up. Opening the door.

Luck

Someone just asked me if I'm feeling lucky, and without hesitation I responded, "I am".  That's the ingredient I need right now, luck.  The work is done, and although I know it's good, it's all about timing and what is supposed to align or not.  I still don't have attachments to specific outcomes because there are so many scenarios, but that doesn't stop me from feeling lucky!

Peace

If you are depressed, you are living in the past.

If you are anxious, you are living in the future.

If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

Lao Tzu

Bring It

My intuition tells me this is going to be a big year.  Unclear if "big" means good or bad, something I typically don't qualify, but I have a sense it will be momentous.  I'm sensing a leap forward, not change in a transitional sense, in fact I'm feeling quite grounded, but something that will propel me in a specific direction.  I don't usually have expectations for the coming year.  I embrace twelve new months with hope, optimism and curiosity.  I look back with gratitude and awe, especially when I catalogue the shared moments with friends.  The last few years I've had the amazing opportunity to travel and explore beyond my inner and external bounds.  The experiences have forever changed me.  Here's to the past, the future and most importantly the present.  When I stay in the moment, everything is feasible.  Happy 2013!