Passing

Looking up at the sky,  I'm reminded of last month's full moon.  The night it rose my father was whisked  away into the hereafter.  Perhaps one feels most alive after being in such close proximity to death.  I know my existence has been amplified by his passing.  Although my daily life has been removed from my parents' lives for some time, there's not a moment I don't remember my father is no longer with us.  Only in my dream state is there hesitation, and confusion.  I'll spot my father in a crowd, or sit with him conversing.  It will seem normal, yet something will nag at my mind.  He visits me most nights, and therefore most nights I struggle, deep in the recess of my mind I know my dreams are in conflict with reality.  I wake exhausted.  I know processing this experience will take time.  Grief isn't for sissies.