Wheel of Time

Lingering in bed this morning, lethargic with reflection on what has been and what is yet to come.

On the precipice of a new year, a new decade, it feels overwhelming to acknowledge

how much of my life is a kaleidoscope of images twirling in the rear view mirror of time. 

So many memories, both monumental and insignificant, layered in my hippocampus.

In May of 2010 I started blogging

and as a result I have a detailed digital record of the last decade. 

2010 was a profound year of reshaping, a much needed lifestyle course correction.

Everything that resulted in the following ten years was a consequence of that sea change. 

I'm craving a little more of the adventure I had in those first few years of the decade. 

Gutting my career created a lot of unknown and ensuing anxiety,

but it also released pent up creativity, oodles of time to travel, reflection and clarity.

A year of self portraits bloomed into a professional shift in 2011

when Deb and I launched One Two Punch.  

I left the executive ranks to produce and finally had the work/life balance I had always desired.

A deeply satisfying endeavor which after five years did not provide the success we envisioned.

There were many months of deep sadness when my brain could only equate change with failure,

but this decade has taught me that growth often comes from the unplanned.  

Make decisions, aspire for joy, but don't become rigid with expectations.  

If the route you are on does not lead to contentment and expansion

take an unforeseen road.

Do not give into paralysis or fear, regardless of age.

In this decade my heart has known intense loss and love.

There was a profound unravelling as my father

laid dying in a hospital bed in New Jersey.  

We lost several family members this decade and we are dwindling in numbers,

but life is on the horizon.

Three years ago I met Scott and my heart has never felt as full.

I have never felt so loved or have had so much ease in a relationship. 

Since there are things to do on this last day of the year, I will

end this post on the optimism I want to carry with me into the next decade.

Everything is going to be ok.

There will be time for success and love and travel and friends and adventures

near and far. 

As time expands may my heart always be full of life.